Inexpensive Teacher Gifts

As much as I'd like to present myself as a DIY-savvy Mom, I am not.  I don't think I'm remotely close.  I have no interest in making soaps or bath salts.  There are far more creative Moms out there, as far as I'm concerned.  When it came time for our very first Christmas needing teacher gifts, I just headed down to the basement stockpile and put a gift together. 

Not to digress, but I was relatively surprised to see a few Moms simply handing the teachers cards, presumably with a gift card or cash enclosed.  I asked my SIL about it, and she said that she typically gives her daughter's teachers Starbucks cards.  Honestly that never occurred to me.  I don't tend to give gift cards, and when I do, it's usually to men I have a hard time shopping for.  It takes the fun out of giving the gift for me. 

My inexpensive teacher gifts were partially purchased on December 26th of last year.  I love to shop the after Christmas sales for holiday merchandise at discounted prices, and bought some cute hand towel sets at Target at 50% off.  Then, on Black Friday, I bought World Market cocoa packets at B2G1 free.  I just tied them together with holiday ribbon, added a gift tag, and was done!  This is the way Moms on a budget do it!  It's not flashy, but it sure is useful.  One of my favorite gift-giving tips is to buy holiday gifts after the holiday, for the following year.  Items like hand towels are easy to store, don't take up much space, and don't expire.  Don't be afraid to purchase in advance - it's a great way to save money!

Getting the Most Out of Rewards Programs

Since the birth of my daughter, I've joined a few online rewards programs.  Prior to her birth, I did belong to the MyCokeRewards program, because I am a "Coke" head.  In 2011 I joined both the Pampers and Huggies rewards programs, and then last year I joined the Kellogg's Family Rewards program.  Most people would probably ask why I spend my time on all of this - truthfully, I need the freebies.  When you work inconsistently, any bit of savings makes a difference.

Last year I gave my mom a Shutterfly calendar that I got, of course, for free.  Shutterfly tends to send out free codes, but a hidden benefit to joining rewards programs is that they will email you free codes as well. For example, I have three different codes right now for free holiday cards - one from the register at Target, one from MyCokeRewards, and one from Huggies.  Last year I was fortunate enough to obtain THREE free calendars!  Right now, though, I only have one code.  So, I went to my trusty reward programs to see about some freebies and I came up with a very interesting fact:  Each program has wildly different redemption amounts for the same item!

Here are the necessary points needed to obtain a 8x11 Shutterfly wall calendar from each of my rewards programs:

286 points - MyCokeRewards
550 points - Huggies
800 points - Pampers
12,900 points - Kellogg's Family Rewards

Do you see a disparity here, because I do!  Even with different average point levels, it would take at least three times longer to accumulate the points needed for the calendar from Kellogg's as it would from Coke!  I actually only have roughly half the points needed to obtain a calendar from Kellogg's.  I suppose this is just an FYI about these programs.  They're all different, and be sure to enter the free codes that pop up online! You'll get further with them than without them!  Also, if friends, family, or co-workers are willing to give codes to you, take them.  These rewards programs are really good ways to earn free gift cards and photo gifts.  I NEVER pay for photo gifts.  There's no reason to.  Put the tiny bit of work in, and you'll get the free stuff.

How I Got the Best Deal on the Klip Klop Stable

Such a fabulous picture of my basement!

I have been on the web nonstop for almost two weeks searching out holiday deals.  When Amazon had a lightning deal on the Fisher Price Klip Klop Stable about two weeks ago, I scoffed at the $27.99 price.  That’s nothing special, especially since FP put a coupon out on the web for $10 off, and most stores are selling it for $34!  I basically had two options:  purchase it at our local Mattel outlet store, using the 50% coupon that I have at their 39.99 price point; or stack, stack, stack at Target.  I chose to stack the deals at Target as follows:

$5 off a $50 purchase (I was buying a birthday gift at the same time)

$10 off Fisher Price manufacturer coupon (from their Share the Joy program)

$5 off a Disney Princess toy (Target coupon, from their toy book)

5% off Target Pharmacy rewards

5% off for using my Target RedCard

So, using my fuzzy math, I paid $14.04 before tax!  The deals are out there; you just need to be willing to search them out.  Likewise, you don’t have to shop on Black Friday – or Christmas Eve – to get the hot toys at a manageable price.  Shop when you are able to!  Don't let it stress you out!

Why I Don't Love Wal-Mart

Why do I not “love” Walmart   There are a few really basic reasons.  So many people stand by their prices, and I can’t always disagree with that, but I have one sincere gripe:  I never leave there with “something extra.”  I don’t receive a reason to return, i.e. a gift card, reward bucks, or even Catalinas! 

Price matching is a PITA.  I find it so tedious to separate out my price matches, and then have to go through them all one-by-one, often in multiple ads, with the cashier.  And make sure to read the fine print!  Heaven forbid you try to buy something in another ad marked as “select varieties.”  I feel like I’m haggling at a garage sale.  Why does Walmart do this?  Because they know that it’s time consuming, and not everyone will want to do it.  Very rarely do I buy enough to make it worthwhile. 

No Catalinas.  I really love walking out of stores, especially Meijer, with coupons to come back with.  Walmart does not offer this.  Even better, often times Meijer provides me with general store coupons, such as x dollars off an x amount laundry purchase, which I can use with a Manufacturer coupon!  Target does this as well.  This doesn't happen at Walmart.

Gift cards.  If I buy diapers at Walmart  they’re more or less the same price as at Meijer or Target; the manufacturer sets the price.  However, if I buy the right amount, Target will give me a gift card for doing so.  It’s the same with TP, paper towels, and laundry detergent.  So, why not go to Target, and get a gift card for my gift kitty?

Purchase perks.  The mPerks program at Meijer rewards me for shopping there.  For example, if I buy $40 in paper, laundry, and cleaning items this calendar month, I can get a reward for $6 off my next purchase.  There are also coupons for base amounts, such as $10 off once you've spent $300.  Also, there are mPerk coupons.  Example:  Cheerios are on sale for $2.50/box.  I had two 50-cent off MQs.  When I went to my mPerks page, I found a store coupon for another $1 off two boxes.  So, by purchasing my Cheerios at Meijer, I saved an additional dollar that I wouldn't have been able to do elsewhere.  Finally, if I buy my box of Huggies at Meijer, I get $20 towards baby rewards.  Once I get to $100 spent, I earn $10 off my next purchase.

Store brands are everywhere.  I buy generic whenever I can.  Do I really need name-brand broth to marinate chicken in the crock-pot?  Not really.  While there are a few Great Value-branded products that my family specifically purchases, do I need to purchase all of my store-branded products at Walmart   My answer is “not necessarily.”  I can get a can of cream of chicken soup anywhere.

Bear in mind that my family did not shop at Walmart much growing up.  Chicago is a city that is loyal to its local grocers, and with an older Mom, I understood her loyalties. Walmart only came to Chicago in the early 90s, and my Mom was almost 50 by then.  My mom probably goes to the local Italian grocery store (Valli Produce) more often than Walmart   I just don’t have a great deal of loyalty to Walmart  and can’t wrap my arms around going in there and just spending money, not getting anything back.  Their “only game in town, one-stop shopping” POV doesn't get me in the door.  I live in Chicago; I have options.  Most other stores give me reasons to come back; Walmart just doesn't provide those same options.

Using Rewards to Save Money This Christmas

My Christmas budget continues to shrink.  The less I work, the less I make, and the less I have to spend on the holidays.  While it seems like my daughter will have a lot under the tree, we’ve bought a lot of things that were between $5 and $7.  My hope is that her “big gift” will cost me around $20 pre-tax.  This doesn’t account for the thirty-odd other people I have to shop for.  How do I pay for it?  Rewards!  I love to earn them!  It’s kind of like clearance shopping:  The thrill of the hunt.  Here are the many, many reward programs I participate in.

Discover Card.  I’ve used my Discover cards for their Cashback Bonus program for years.  Each quarter they have a specific category to earn 5% cash back towards partner gift cards.  Some categories are perfect – gas – and others, like amusement parks, are worthless.  I still manage to earn 2-3 gift cards each year, usually $50 to Kohl’s or JCPenney.

Meijer mPerks.  This basically rewards you for shopping at Meijer.  They have an ongoing Baby rewards program, with a point for every dollar spent in the baby department (food, diapers, etc.)  This is a rolling program, and you can earn $10 at a time, or wait until you reach up to $50 off your next purchase.  Likewise, there are monthly goals that rotate; this month I have chosen to earn $10 for every $300 spent.  This sounds like a lot, but since I buy most of my groceries here, it adds up quickly.  And it’s free!

Gap Visa.  When I signed up for this card, I had no idea that it would become my primary credit card!  Their bonus points are outrageous; for example, from now to the end of the year, there are 5x points on gas, groceries, and dining.  Granted, you have to be a shopper of one of their stores, but I buy most of my clothes, as well as my daughter’s clothes, at Old Navy, and buy a lot of gifts for the kids there as well.

Swagbucks.  This is time-consuming, but has a great payoff.  Swagbucks is a site in which you earn “bucks” through many different processes, from watching quick adverts, to Internet searches, to taking high-value surveys.  I've been doing this for a couple of years, and look forward to finally cashing in for an Amazon gift card!

Target gift cards.  I talk about this all the time – I buy most of my diapers at Target to earn gift cards.  We also earned them when Bebe was on formula, as well as on paper and laundry products.  The $110 I have now will go a long way!

My Coke Rewards.  Yep, I’m a “Coke Head.”  We’ve been collecting codes forever (with help from family members and work friends), and around the holidays they do some great deals on gift cards; year-round, they have low-point-value offers from Shutterfly.  It’s only 250 points for a coffee mug, and I have more than 2,500 to use!

Diaper Rewards.  Both Huggies and Pampers have reward programs.  I have earned a $10 Amazon gift card through Huggies; I haven’t redeemed anything from Pampers, as Bebe hasn’t worn them in about a year and a half.  It’s just another opportunity to earn gift cards.

Menards rebates.  In the past, I have used my Menards rebate checks to buy Christmas gifts.  Here’s a tip:  We buy our batteries here.  Their prices are the best for quality batteries.

This is just some of what I do.  Every little bit helps.  I admit that I don’t spend a lot of money per person, but we do our best.  Since it’s the thought that counts, I put enough thought into my budget to equal $100 gifts! J

Easy Tips for Saving Money This Christmas

A SAHM’s Tips on How to Save Money This Christmas

Even though it’s only November 6^th, my holiday panic has already set in.  I spend about two months stressing over how to pay for all of the gifts for my extensive family.  I personally started planning about a week ago.  Fortunately we are now doing a Secret Santa with my husbands siblings and their spouses, so I have three less gifts to buy this year!  Of course, my daughter’s three preschool teachers have now supplanted that, but I’m already prepared for them.  There are about a billion people on the Internet that will tell you how to save on Christmas, but I’m a totally regular person, I do this blog in my spare time when I can, and this is a great passion of mine.  This is what the mom down the street does to buy for about forty people every year!

**Disclaimer:  My Mom tried reduce the gift exchange with her extended family down to a Secret Santa from a “token gifts for everyone” approach.  She was rebuffed.

1. Make it your job.  If you’re a SAHM, it IS your job to find ways to save money.  It really doesn't take as much time as it seems.  Visit sites that post holiday deals (such as Budget Savvy Diva) once a day or so.   You never know what you might find, such as a free mouse pad deal or a high-value coupon.  Likewise, when I go out on Black Friday, I know exactly what I’m buying.  I go out with a list of what I’m buying for whom at what stores.  It prevents me from overspending.
2. Work on your own timetable.  Many sites suggest you wait until Christmas approaches for the best deals.  While this may be true, it doesn't work for everyone.  We have family in other states to send gifts to, and we’re celebrating Christmas with my husband’s family on December 21^st this year, so that doesn't really apply to me.  I estimate that I need to have ¾ of my list done by December 21^st.  If you can hold out until the weekend before Christmas, go for it.  If not, keep abreast of the deals immediately.  Also see item #4!
3. Rewards and gift cards.  This is my ace-in-the-hole.  I accumulate Target gift cards throughout the year buying paper goods, diapers, and other items.  Right now I’m at $110.  Frankly, I was all set to write about this and realized I can do an entire post on how I don’t pay for gifts!  That’ll be up next!
4. Shop on December 26^th.  While this won’t help for this year, it’s still a great way to get token gifts at a cheap price.  Target is a great place to go on the 26^th for lots of things – I bought a year’s worth of aluminum foil last year – not just trinket gifts.  I bought the dish towels for Bebe’s teachers, a teapot for my husband’s coworker, and salt & pepper shakers for another family member, last December 26^th.  Some of this stuff will still even be around at higher discounts as the New Year approaches.  At Kohl’s on December 31^st, we bought a gift basket (late holiday gift) and dirt-cheap ornaments.
5. Re-gift.  This sounds worse than it is.  My husband works for a company that – every year - gifts their employees the overstock of the items they produce.  He has worked there for eight years.  That’s a lot of swag.  These particular items are perfect for our older family members.  Don’t be afraid to re-gift, especially in token exchanges.  There is no shame in having a budget.
6. Be creative.  While this is not necessarily my cup of tea, make gifts!  Bake for a neighbor, teacher, or older person.  Try to make those soaps that are all over Pinterest.  It’s the thought that counts, and for me, time can be more expensive than money!

These are just a few of the things I do to make the holiday season more affordable.  As I mentioned before, I estimated that we have about 40 people to buy gifts for - that's pretty outrageous.  In a few days I'll outline all the ways I get free gift cards and rewards to help offset costs.  It is beyond stressful, and I spent the afternoon munching on Oreos.  Hopefully this will help someone else . . . and stay away from Oreos!

You've Got Your Stories to Tell

One of the themes of my blog is the difficulty I've had transitioning to my new life.  While I adore my daughter, I still have moments when I wonder how it all went off the rails, so to speak.  It's not that I miss my old  life - I don't - I just have so many times where I wonder how my personality changed so radically.  I saw that girl the other day - pack of Camels in one back pocket, wallet in the other, engrossed in music. Where did I see her?  She was watching History of the Eagles on Showtime.  Now, I was only able to do this because my Bebe was sleeping and I was sick on the couch.  It was fun for a second, though.  Just watching a documentary about something I'm really passionate about (70s music) made me miss that hippie girl for about a minute and a half.  And then I snap back into reality.  My husband is awesome.  My daughter is beautiful.  I have a good life.  I grew into myself, if that makes sense.  The "rock chick" thing was fun when I was 20.  I'm not 20 anymore.

The moment I picked up my daughter after her nap I realized that I'm in the right place.  Now if only I had been born sooner . . .

Art Prize 2013 Wrap-Up: A Critical Discourse

While this is my blog, I saw an interesting piece of insight from the husband regarding this year's Grand Rapids Art Prize.  My sister sent him an mLive article from the curator of the Meijer Gardens exhibit, and he had such a thoughtful response, that I wanted to share it.  Art Prize is a passion and love of our family, and it's something that I hope we can share with each other for years to come.  The words of my husband:

I have to agree that this year's total crop of entries was weaker than last year, but I'm not sure that matters in the larger scheme of things.  It depends on what the event strives to be - is it truly about the common man having a voice?  If so, then as long as foot traffic and votes are up, the event is on the right track.  Your average Joe shouldn't be expected to have the same critical eye as a professional art critic, especially as they are viewing hundreds of pieces each day within a huge mass of people.  As we know all too well, it is nearly impossible to stop and contemplate each piece on its merits on the DeVos Place skywalk.

 

It's also worth remembering that there is no vote limit in the first round.  People are not voting for their absolute favorites, just any pieces they happen to like as they stroll around town.  Each voter may have their own personal favorite, or even top 10, but every vote counts equally, so the one that would be #100 on their list gets the same weight in their voting as their favorite.  This means that the eventual top 10 may not actually have anyone's favorite, just an aggregation of pieces that many thought were simply good enough.  That's my theory on why the most interesting pieces usually fail to make the top 10, even from high traffic venues.

 

I do agree, though, that the populist nature of the top winners holds the event back in terms of stature in the art community.  That is why they added the juried awards, so that the entire event did not just become about large installations of duct tape and dryer lint.  The biggest challenge for the event directors, in my opinion, is making sure that the potential rewards are great enough to keep luring truly unique and challenging pieces to the exhibition, understanding that those may struggle to get into the public top 10.  I think we can agree that some of our favorites were at venues with a curated presentation, such as Kendall College and UICA.  Having a few more of those wouldn't hurt, especially outside of the immediate downtown.  A top artist will bring a piece to Meijer Gardens, but would probably not be interested in Joe-Bob's thrift shop.  Additional curated venues would give those artists more chances to find a place to exhibit and (hopefully) tip the scales back toward quality pieces.  There is a fine line to walk, though, as the point of the event is to include everyone in the conversation.  Part of the fun of the event is seeing an outstanding set of entries at a place like Kendall College, then passing by crazy Jesus in the bookstore down the street.  One of the big draws of the event is it's inclusiveness; I always talk about how great our first year was when we simply wandered around town without a plan, finding art at every corner.  This is an event where the Auto Fixit Body Shop can sit right alongside the GRAM, and I like that.  Part of that inclusiveness means accepting the fact that much of the art will be things like the giant made out of compost, or the penny made from pennies, or Jimmy Carter in peanut shells.  Those pieces are not going to get my vote, but they still make me smile and should always have a place in Artprize. 

I guess that sums up Art Prize 2013.  I realize that it took me about a week and a half to do so, but I have a toddler and a million monsters to make over the next two weeks.  Give a mom a break . . . because I truly have a special place in my heart for the Auto Fixit Body Shop.

Art Prize 2013, Day 3: Off the Beaten Path

Day 3 of our visit to Grand Rapids' Art Prize began with a trip out to the Frederik Meijer Gardens & Sculpture Park.  Last year we drove up there for just the Art Prize entries, but with our reciprocal membership (thanks to our Chicago Botanic Gardens membership) we were able to tour the Gardens as well for no additional charge.

The pieces at the Gardens were fantastic.  The above piece, Watching, is on the 3D short list, and was quite impressive.  You know who wasn't impressed?  My daughter.  She cried and whined through the entire exhibit.  One of the security guards was kind enough to let her use her sippy cup to help calm her down. Having a crabby kid in an exhibition of glass pieces is a recipe for disaster.  Needless to say, even though there were a number of wonderful pieces that we voted for, it was hard to enjoy the experience!

This is what my daughter liked at the Gardens - the water play area at the Children's Garden.  Literally, this was the only part of the visit that she when she was remotely pleasant.  So, we picked up lunch and took an afternoon break at Auntie's house.

In the evening, we headed up to the Monroe North neighborhood to some venues we had never hit before. Our first stop was Yoga Heat, and yes, it was hot in there.  We moved on to the Boardwalk GR Condominiums, which was full of art.  We saw some great stuff, including Circulation (above), as well as my pick for the WORST piece of art so far.  Worse than Creepy Jesus.  The ten-year-old girl walking around along with us said that she could have done that piece.  I won't name it out of respect for the artist, but child please.

Sunflower for Hank (seen in the somewhat lousy photo above) took over 300 hours to create.  The WORST piece looks like it took 90 seconds to - ahem - create.  By the way, Sunflower for Hank is made of duct tape.

We then took a walk over to Canal Street Park and the Sixth Street Bridge Park.  It was getting dark by this point, so my photos don't do the art there any justice.

I happen to know that using old tires as planters is really hot right now.  However, that really doesn't have much to do with this piece.

Finally, we hit a recommended venue, the Monroe Community Church.  I can't give anything but high praise for the venue.  The art was outstanding, they had a kids' coloring table, and I finally found my favorite piece of the week so far!

Again, the photo doesn't do the piece any justice!  This is Moses 1,2,3 by Paris Tavonatti-Wartick.  Often times religious art can be so overt, and even garish (Creepy Jesus).  This piece makes a statement so quietly, yet so clearly.  I have such a tough time with religious pieces, as religion is very private to me.  Yet this is my favorite religious piece of any Art Prize I have ever visited.

As much as I'd like to get into more detail, I'm being screamed at by a 2-year-old.  On to Center City for a busy weekend of art viewing!

Art Prize 2013, Day 2: Faith Renewed!

Our first day at Art Prize was a bit lackluster.  I guess I just wasn't "in love" with anything.  The most exciting part of Art Prize is falling in love with certain pieces, and the husband and I felt so underwhelmed.  After taking the Little Person to pick apples for the first time, we headed to Hillside and St. Cecelia's for a children's presentation called "Can You Think It?  Can You Dream It?"

Kevin Kammerkad had a fantastic show, with songs, dancing, and puppetry.  At 30 minutes, it's just the right time for my two-year-old, and we left with a free CD and activity book!  And it was completely free!  It was so far off the beaten path that it was a small group.  However, it gave the Person ample room to run in circles.

We then moved on to my husband's pick, the Women's City Club.  It's a beautiful venue with a quiet, contemplative gallery.  The ladies are always so generous, and they serve meals and drinks.  Their efforts are tremendous.  Now, travelling with a 2-year-old is complicated, and here is what she liked best:

The live music in the luncheon room.  Luckily my sister had already visited this venue, and was kind enough to take the Person around while my husband and I enjoyed the art.  Now, enjoy . . . a complicated word when discussing Site:Lab.  I am not going to include any photos, as I didn't love it there.  Site:Lab is just so polarizing.  I truly loved the video piece Sonnet 27, on the jury short list.  The vibe fit perfectly with the building.  Everything else I just wasn't feeling this year.  I really felt like Year of the Snake opened up the building in a way that took some of the darkness and foreboding out of it.  That building is damn creepy, and I like it that way.

Since we were strapped for time, we finished up at UICA, a venue we've been dying to get to for years.  It did not disappoint.

The level of creativity in one space was unbelievable. From Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me? (the top picture, sculpture made with crayon) to WoolHouse (directly above), the forms used were so varied, the use of space so unique, I just had my faith in Art Prize restored completely.  We will be returning, because I actually felt like we missed something.  I really wanted to concentrate on the pieces even more.

What really made me excited today was the enthusiasm from the artists at UICA.  The vibe was much more personal, and the artist above, Jessica Joy London, was so willing to let the public touch an example of the art that it made me more excited to experience it.  Her piece, Natural Phenomena/Synthetic Wonder, had the colorful appeal that my Person loves.  The more color, the better.  Going to Hillside and Heartside was eye-opening.  We have yet to visit Center City and the more populist art, but we're feeling more excited about the coming days.

Art Prize 2013: Taming the Toddler

We had two hours today to motor through some major Art Prize venues here in Grand Rapids.  Motor is the operative word - the Little Person is 2.  2 = Fiercely Independent.  2 = I want to walk!  2 = Very little time for contemplation.

This is our third trip, and now that the Little Person is mobile, we had to come prepared.  The husband and I checked the Jury and popular votes, and made sure to note those in the venues that we were hitting in our brief tour tonight.

First stop:  Western Michigan University

Nothing like balloons to attract the attention of a 2-year-old!  The Person did well here, as it was our first stop.  It also wasn't incredibly busy, which helps.  The third floor was open, and we were able to enjoy the art.  This was about the only stop we were able to do so.

See?  Perfectly nice in the stroller . . . for one floor of one venue.  We went downstairs to see the multimedia presentations, took her out of the stroller, and had to leave.

Next stop:  87 Orange Photography & The Jon Hartman Photography Co.

Small venues are great for kids.

This artist, Jeohvany Huerta, is in the Top 50 for "One Dream."  He was pretty passionate as he pointed out the subjects of his piece, many of which were family members.

Then:  The Harris Building

Big venue = unhappy kid.  We booked through the "Connected" entry, then skipped the second floor.  See the downhill progression here?  Tired toddler, contemplative experience . . . no, they don't go together.

After a brief trip to the Hub to spend $45 on swag, we made it down to the GRAM.  My sister suggested we avoid the weekend . . .good call.  Fortunately there weren't a billion pieces, but many that we enjoyed, like Firefly.  Fine, I liked hearing the theme from Knight Rider.  So I voted for it.  Populism at its worst.

As we approached 8:00 (closing time), we made a final stop at West Coast Coffee.

Here's a great one for the kids:  "Pale" is made from Legos!   But no, not for my kid.  They had a fish tank in the coffee shop.  She liked that better than any of the art.

So, our first day of Art Prize is in the books, and it's going to be a bit more of a project than we thought. Tomorrow we head to pick apples, then back to the event in the late afternoon.

Kidnap My Child, Please

Support your sport . . . sure.  I'm sure that West Shamokin cheerleading is awesome.  Does the local population need to know your kid's name, though?  I drive all around the suburbs, and see plenty of stick families.  Yep, they're not my cup of tea, but at least it's not POSTING YOUR CHILD'S NAME ON YOUR CAR.  Even better - both first and last names!  I've seen cars with one kid represented by their first name, and the other by their last name.  We all grew up with "stranger danger."  Why, then, would you put your kid's name on your car?  Isn't that asking for trouble?

This is something that has annoyed me for ages.  It seems so unbelievably foolish.  Off the soapbox now!

It's a Pinteresting World

It's hard to decide when my life changed - was it the birth of my daughter, or was it my introduction to Pinterest?  What is Pinterest to me - is it a nice little filing cabinet for ideas?  Is it my go-to place to find new craft projects and recipes?  A total time drain?  I'll go with all of the above.  However, it's not a make-or-break for me, nor do I TRY RIDICULOUS THINGS.  Those Toy Story cake pops are super cute, but I'm not dumb enough to think that I'd be able to replicate them.  While Pinterest Fail is a funny idea, sometimes I don't understand why people even attempt some of this crap.  Often times they repin professional ideas. I leave it to the pros!

My husband is really into decorating for birthday parties, and our daughter's party was no different.  I found tons of ideas on Pinterest.  Above is the crayon wreath I saw on a party table.  Success or fail?  If you look at the photo, it looks like a win . . . but it was a fail.  It's sitting on my washing machine in this photo, not having been actually used at the party.  The crayons are super delicate, just having been hot glued onto an embroidery hoop.  I tried to transport it from one house to another, and the crayons were knocked off the hoop right away.  So, even though it looks pretty, it's on the verge of falling apart at all times.

And now for the paint chip utensil holder.  The husband picked up the fantastic Crayola paint chips at Menards.  I used glue dots for the crayon chip, and the heavier-duty double-sided scrapbooking squares to fasten the solid chip to the multi-colored chip.  Frankly, this turned out awesome.  Without the scrapbooking squares, it would have been a fail, but thanks to my mother-in-law for her advice on the scrapbooking squares.  And let's be honest - the Crayola paint chip made the project!

My final party Pinterest projects:  The "dripping" paint cans and paintbrush rice krispie treats.  The dripping paint cans look great, with paint cans purchased at Home Depot and cheap JoAnn's fabric.  We just taped the fabric to the inside of the can.  No problem there.  However, the rice krispie treats were falling apart.  It's as simple as it looks - Wilton candy melted, and we covered the treats with it (using a spoon).  Since they were so weak, I ended up putting them in bags for the kids to take home.  I suppose that was simply a presentation fail.

Now THIS I'm super proud of.  A good friend Pinned a link to using magazine holders (2.99 at Target) to organize plastic bags, foil, and the like.  Love it!  As you can see, I only bought two as a test, but will be adding more.  Notice how my lunch bags don't fit in the organizer with the foil, but do fit in the magazine holders.  And yes, I bought the Ziploc ones on clearance after Christmas, of course.

Here's the deal:  Pinterest is fun, but sometimes we forget that it's all in fun.  I've had very few failures because I'm realistic about it.  As much as I'm dying to try the DIY rosette headband, I also know that I'm destined for failure on that front.  Stay tuned. . .

People You're Gonna Meet

Last year, on September 1st, I wrote the following post about dealing with our differences, especially in regard to those that may think they're "better" than you.  Sadly, in the past six weeks, I've been reminded of who I wrote it for, and how she turned out to be someone who'd rather "fit in" than be true to herself.  So, here it is again, with some additional truths.

I was reminded yesterday that life is hard work, and friendships are even harder!  The hardest part?  Being a woman, trying to form and maintain relationships with other women!  The "R" word that Aretha instructed us about all those years ago often flies out the window.  So, I'd like to impart some words of wisdom to start out the day, and I'm hoping to share this with as many people (especially women) as possible.

You're Gonna Meet . . . 

people you love at first sight.
people who are mean for the sake of being mean.
people who have a lot more money than you.
people who have a lot more money than you . . . and aren't afraid to share it!
people who support you no matter what.
people with unnecessarily bad attitudes.
people you need to get to know before you can decide if you like them or not!
people you despise on first sight.
best friends for life.
family members you wish weren't family members.
people who annoy you.
bullies.
stupid people (everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people!)
people you learn from, good or bad.
people who frustrate you.
people with no manners.
friends who understand you.
people you're just never going to understand.
friends who listen.
people who take advantage of you.
people you didn't think you'd be friends with . . . but are.
people who inspire you.

I've learned a great deal about myself and my place in this world over the past couple of months.  My eyes were truly opened up to how women assert themselves. It's important to remember that we will all meet people that are simply not comfortable in their own skin.   We will have friends, co-workers, and acquaintances that need a special kind of validation that they don't feel they can obtain by just being themselves.  So many of us try to create alternate personas that are just a little bit "more."  Better clothes, a nicer car . . you're still you on the inside. Likewise, I can name people that get that validation by either broadcasting their lives or their opinions to the public.  Gotta love social media.  In the end, it's just a shell - a facade.  We are all still the same person inside that little cocoon, no matter what we present to the outside world.

Therefore, I add to the list of People You're Gonna Meet:

people who will tell you what they think you want to hear.
disingenuous people, and those that will lie without a second thought.
people who want to be anyone else but themselves.
people who will accept you immediately.
people who are comfortable in their own skin.


Don't give up.  Things will change.  For every person who frustrates you, there's another that will listen to you gripe about that person who frustrates you!

I'm Doing It. Now.

This is not a pity party, a sob story, or sympathy grab.  This is honesty.  This is written by a person who just can't open up.

Trust is a big problem for me.  I have had very few people in my life that I truly can trust.  Sadly, many of these untrustworthy people have been family members, which makes it so much harder.  I've had crappy friends, but that doesn't make me unique.  Join the club, right?  When it's your family though, your close family, then how do you accept strangers?  How do you put your trust in people that you don't know well, when your own relatives have proven to not have your best interests at heart?

Therefore I have let my friendships fall away.  It's not that I don't have any - I just don't hold on like other people do.  There have been quite a few one-sided friendships in my past, and I also despise Face(less)book.  So I just don't keep up like others do.  But it got worse.  I retreated pretty badly.  Now I'm going to talk about it.

My PPD was the most devastating event of my life, yet so unbelievably important and helped me become who I am today.  I pulled myself out of the mud to be a much better person.  However, in the midst of a serious depression, I went through a life-changing event.  While it seems minor, it not only set back my recovery from depression, but also completely ruined my ability to trust.

My relatives and I threw a party for another relative, in conjunction with her "friends."  Frankly, if my friends behaved toward my family the way they acted towards us, I'd be beside myself.  Not only were we made to feel unwelcome and like a burden, one woman in particular, who I call Thurl, humiliated me in front of all of the guests.  She snapped at me for asking for assistance with a party game in front of everyone, and repeatedly gave snippy answers to questions regarding the party itself.  Thurl had no regard for anyone in the family; she even chewed out another family member over a missing party favor.  Alright, we all meet shitty people.  There are real assholes out there.  The problem is that the guest of honor did nothing afterwards.  She did not apologize.  She did not even acknowledge that it happened.  I don't know what my relative was thinking.  Sorry, she wasn't thinking.

Why was this all so infuriating?  Because I had Thurl's daughter over to my home during my husband's birthday celebration and treated her like a member of my family.  Such unbelievable disrespect.  But there was no recourse.  My relative wasn't sorry.  And it completely fucked me up for over a year.  I would not let anyone new into my life.  I did not want to have any friends, because how could I trust them?  If I couldn't rely on my own family to back me up, then what about a friend?  My family member hurt me.  I now know we were never friends, but man did that sting.

So what got me out of it?  Time.  The realization that there are simply shitty people in this world.  Love for my daughter.  Not wanting to be alone anymore.  It seems so small.  But that's the problem:  Small incidents for a person with trust issues seem so huge.  If someone wrongs you once, they WILL do it again.  That's just how my mind works, and I hate it.  I want to be normal.  I want to have good, trusted friends.  But there are days when I question whether I can do it or not.  Today is one of those days.

That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be

Growing up, I really hated my Mom.  As awful as it sounds, it's unfortunately true.  I viewed her as a supremely unhappy person; a woman who had the opportunity to have an independent and exciting life, but chose to get married and be a SAHM.  All I could see was someone who gave up on her life.  It never once occurred to me the feelings that she had for us.  Even though she was unhappy with certain aspects of her life, that didn't necessarily translate into her feelings toward us.  On my end, all I could see was a woman that had no life.  Therefore, for many years I didn't want to have children.  I had this notion that if I did, I'd lose myself.

Once I hit my thirties, though, I had a change of heart.  Since I truly love my husband, I thought it would be totally wrong NOT to have a family.  My mom is a different person; I wouldn't give up all the things that she did.  Throughout my pregnancy I insisted I'd be back at work within six weeks of her birth . . . and then she was born.  The kid wouldn't breastfeed; she lost too much weight after birth, and we struggled to have her put the weight on.  Then, at 2 1/2 weeks came the colic.  Now, I freely admit that it was a textbook case, and ended six weeks later, but the person was utterly miserable most of the day during that time.  Simultaneously she was breastfeeding - or not breastfeeding - and barely gaining weight.  Those six weeks turned into two months, and into six months, and into today.  And I sit here crying because she's asleep and I miss her.

Life is so short.  Your children are only little once, and you never know what tomorrow may bring.  I sit here on the couch, and look all around my house and see her, and am constantly reminded of how every moment counts.  She'll never be a "Chunk Monk" again.  She'll never be curled up asleep in a posed picture again.

Growing up I couldn't separate the destination from the journey.  I couldn't see my mom as someone who was travelling along with us.  After the past 21 months I can see that this Little Person has given me more that I could ever have imagined.  I've seen her hug her BFF, try so hard to count along with Jake, and even call me Mommy for the first time.  And I don't feel in the least bit that I've lost an ounce of myself or given any part of myself up that didn't become fulfilled in some other fashion.  We all have the power to control our own destiny.  The choices that we make in life shape who we are and our futures.  I'll never get the last 21 months back.  And I wouldn't have it any other way - it's once in a lifetime.

Winning the Name Game

This little nugget came out yesterday:

http://nameberry.com/blog/popular-names-2012

The story behind my daughter's name is that she is named after a song that I coincidentally kept hearing early in my pregnancy.  I felt it was a sign that I was having a girl.  As luck would have it, it's a traditional name that has been surpassed by such gems as Trinity and Destiny.  Yep, 143rd baby!  There were more little girls born in 2012 named Serenity.  Now, my beef is not with the names themselves - just because I don't like it means that it's bad in some way (except for Espn - no pass for that one).  It's just that our society has gotten so wrapped up in "originality" that there isn't any at this point.  We seem to have forgotten what originality is.  There were no little girls named Madison when I was growing up, and now there's Madison, Madisen, Maddisen, Maddison, Madisyn . . . . want me to keep going?  No matter how you spell it, it's still the same name.

Case in point:  When my niece was born a dozen years ago, her parents gave her a name that has since become quite common, but with a "different" spelling.  Lo and behold, she gets to school, in her tiny little town, and there is a girl with the exact same name and spelling.  Congratulations on your originality!  Madison, you're the new Jennifer.  So, to all you Phil Collins fans out there that want to name your daughter Genesis, it's the 56th most popular name of 2012 . . . and moving on up!

Nicknames, Or, What's Her Name Again?

Two days in a row!  This must be a record.  Well, the Little Person is still sleeping, so I get to enjoy some caffeine and a little Jim Croce on the Pandora.  So, we gave our daughter a beautiful name.  It's traditional without being old-fashioned, normal without being common.  A great deal of love and thought was put into her name . . . and I have about 1,000,000 nicknames that I use more often than her actual name.  Typically I use her first name (and often her middle name as well) only when I'm scolding her about worming her way into the pantry or standing up on the recliner.  And the nicknames change all the time.  

It started with Bear.  This one came about before she was born, and yes, she typifies a growly, surly Bear.  Who knew?  That then morphed into Bear-Bear.  And now I'm getting fuzzy.  Really, there have been so many, and ones that were fleeting, that I don't know them all anymore.  S.  Essie Mae (her evil alter ego).  Stinky.  Stink Tink.  Stinky Tinkerbell.  Princess Face.  Ooh, Smelly Butt, just remembered that one.  A few actually have stuck, like Peaches, which compliments her Aunt's nickname, Naneril (it means banana, and I don't really remember where that came from).  There's also Face (derivatives include Facie and Facers) because of her expressive and quite beautiful face. 

Disclaimer:  I'm her Mom, I'm allowed to gush over her, and I sincerely only do that around my family.  

I guess this is a Mom thing.  She's my first and only baby.  What concerns me is that she has so many ridiculous nicknames that it may lose that special quality.  What is her special, unique baby name?  Should she just have one?  Am I going overboard like I always do (hello, Hypermom)?!  Does it make her seem even more spoiled than she already is?

Welcome to the life of the Hypermom.  What don't we worry about?

Let's Try This Again

I made an attempt almost two years ago now to start a blog about my life as a new Mom, and it was a moderate fail.  New Mom Lesson #1:  Best Laid Plans!  

Baba and I went into parenting with the best of intentions.  We didn't think it would be easy, but we didn't think it would be bordering on impossible either.  First she didn't want to breastfeed.  Then, when we switched to formula, she pushed away the bottle, and Mommy was the only person she would take it from.  Overnight sleep training was manageable, but naps were (are) another story.  The little person does not sleep with any regularity.  

Then there was that whole post-partum/baby blues deal, and a devastating loss, that made 
the first year the most difficult year of my life.  The second year, thus far, has been an unbelievable surprise.  I opened myself up, and found a whole new life for myself and the little person.  I guess this is the product of that.  This is the story of Hypermom and her Little Person.